Unhappiness

Unhappiness it has a way of creeping up on when you least expected you could be on top of the world and everything is going right for you but then you suddernly feel very unhappy and Want to cry... But you cant explain why..... Alot of people deal with unhappiness diffrently.... I once had a friend who used to cut there arms with glass at the time I was only a teenager 16 so I didnt fully understand what they were doing but it is only know I am 22 i relise that they were hurting them selfs they seemed bubbly bright and HAPPY but that was the key word HAPPY because they were clearly not and did not know how to show this so knowing they would get attention and it worked because when they told me because I saw the marks on there arm I told them they had to stop and they were being stupid because it could kill them.....Now thoe being 22 as well they did stop and as fare as i am aware they dont do it still... as for HAPPY I do not know if they are HAPPY They Seem bubbly and Bright when I see them but they seemed bubbly and Bright 6 years ago.......
Many people find it hard to say that they are unhappy out of fear that the person they tell will say somthing along the lines of " You unhappy what have you got to be unhappy about?" and in some server cases when the person has commited suicide Does the person then stand up and say "well he did say he was unhappy"
A person must be truely unhappy with them selfs if they can do this.....
But as I said people deal with unhappiness diffrently for my mum she changes things... For me I write....and for others well I dont know.... When some one is truly unhappy it sometimes helps to talk to somone that you dont know so well or at all..... its not always best to keep it in because sometime you will explode not like a bomb but emotionaly
well again I am going bye bye.....

Belonging

Belonging are they just objects or can there ever be more to it than that?........
Today my mum is throwing alot of things away because she cant bother looking at them any more It's her way of saying she is unhappy...So she asked me to go through a box of my stuff and get rid of stuff I dont want and keep what i do So i do that and keep not very much but its all stuff I want and things that mean somthing..... But no I am not aloud to keep any of it because she cant be botherd with it.... and for some reason i have a deep restenment for that fact that she can keep her "junk" but I cant keep mine......Over the years alot of my stuff has been thrown away with out my constent so I come to he conculsion of Why bother asking me when your just going to throw it away anyways?
Do we get to attached to "stuff" and miss what the real problems is or whats really going on?

Like My mum through away myfolder full of my old college work and I was putting things in the bin and I noticed it so i got it out thinking I will have alook at what i did back then and Noticed that all my Quilfication certifcates where in there all my GCSE's etc...........

Like I had a shoe box full of all my photographs i have taken over the years she through the box away and put all my photos somewhere else and i am not aloud to keep them in my room anymore...... Its perthetic but then I think there just photos I have my memories...

Well thats my rant over with bye bye..........

Happiness

Happiness Jamie and Me we were talking today about happiness and we desided that bassed on our own experince that no one is 100% happy all the time and I think he right, Am happy but I remember the day when I was first 100% Happy I was in town in this club that has pool tables (not cue world) and I was with some one they were showing me how to play pool and for a brife moment it felt right it felt like this was how it was meant to be funnily thoe that person did a terrible thing to me not to long after but yeah that was the moment i first felt 100% happy... Its little things that can make a person so happy.. Like with that man Tony i spoke about in a last blog he was so happy and made up when Jamie gave him a cuepon to get 30p of a beer alsorts of thinks make people happy and if you where to ask each person what made them 100% happy i wonder if they could all tell you and i wonder if that it is big reasons or small reasons like mine and like Tony.... If anyone reads this let me know and it has also givin me an idea... bye bye

BTW I relise that I have made a spelling mistake in the last video.....

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

I wont talk about what has peed me of incase the person reads this so yes it is a person and it takes alot to wind me up because am such a cool and laid back person but my GOSH!!!!!........... Anyways that my little rant all over with..... I went in to town today YAY! on my tod NOO! I bumped in to Andy and his girlfriend but they didnt stay long they wanted to go and shop.... So anyways I had to be somewhere at 3:25 so when I had finished there I went back to town and missed the bus by just 5 secs so I had wait and hour for the next one but it was 30 mins late and the wind was picking up so I was frozen by the time the bus got there because i didnt expect me to be out that late so all i had one was my vest top tshirt and cardie but the wind picked up and it was blumy cold......... and top it off when i got on the bus i got of to early because I couldnt really see i thought i was getting off at the right stop but i got of 2 stops before i needed to so i got off 10 mins before my house its been one of thoes days anywho that is it.......... so bye bye...

Divorce

Last Night while reading over some old emails an old friend had put that there worst point in there life was when they were 14 and there parents where getting a divorce and they saw there farther cry for the first time... Well I honestly think somthing like that would mess with a young teenages head... I do not believe this thing where if you live in a one parent family you are more likely to commit crimes, But i do believe that divorce can mess with a childs mind forutnatly I havent really had to deal with this has my perants spilt when I was a young age so for most of my life it has been my Mum my two older brothers and Me So there never was that typical family unit of Mum ,Dad and Children. But when I was 16 my mum got remarried but even then there wasnt a family unit it was My Mum her Husband then the kids and that broke down after a 18 months then came the divorce..... I understand how people can get messed up with this its must be harder to have to deal with as you get older because your mum and Dad have always been Mum and Dad a family unit then one day its Mum then Dad two diffrent people living two diffrent lives... My Brothers there Dad left when they where 3 and 4 so again they where young but it did effect them because for all that time it was Mummy, Daddy and them two Now it was Mummy and them two............. It happens more and more this days alot of children are being brought up with a single parent... but alot of children blame them selfs for the family unit being broken down and yes divorce does mess with a childs head but what is worse divorce or constant fighting....... as a person who has seen both I would off chossen divorce anyday becasue its hard as my friend said to see a parent so upset because someone else has hurt them......
I look at my friends who have parents who have been togather for 25 plus years and think well if there parents ever do divorce how hard must it be for them or even knowing the only reason your parents are still one is because of you and that as soon as your grow and move on then they will be people that must be hard to deal with...... By any means I am not comdeming single familys as I grew up in one and my Mum did a fanstastic job with us we have grown up to be successful well mannerd people ( my spelling has nothing to do with my mum tho ha) And as a single parent she always made sure we didnt go with out and we will always Love her for everything she has done for us and for being there....

Grimsby

Why do we live in GY why is it so Gay where ppl just lay
in the middle of the road thats GY but just dont ask me why
as i do not know coz am not one off ur hoe's PPl drive rnd in
stupid cars thinking there all hard with there fake Burberry
and lots off G that the perfect GY and poo on the floor and that knock at ur door was the poilce coming to take you away for the stuff
that you knicked from the old lady next door but what was
it for to pay you hore or to pay for drugs that you keep in a
mug in your bottem draw with your Alchole PPl out on the
drink but realy they stink Pervy men looking at young
Girls all happens in GY but still if you asked me why
i wouldnt have a clue coz am only haveing my father
kid and i think ill call him Sid but thats coz i live in GY
and most the ppl here are interbread coz thats there style
and i live here with out any fear i wish i did but am just a
stupid kid on my own the Town is full of Chavs and unormal
ppl that havnt a clue coz they left school at 13 and had babies
with there fathers or there brothers not there mothers they
just watched! So I advise you to move here soon, as soon as you possibel can



Love

The Stars are falling from
the skys falling right in
to your eyes.
the flowers soft as your
sweet skin the
smell of roses from with in
the cheap champian soon
wears of as with the
clothes that come of
tears role down her brave
face as she longs for
his sweet embrace
the pain begings to
build inside this hurting
she wish would die
the price of love
as yet to be known but
she sits and waits
hopeing to go home
(c) Of Kate

Hate

I hate you you hate me thats the way its always gonna be if u change then that is fine just dont come knocking on my arss if u die dont expect a tear from my eye coz I hate u and u hate me thats the way its always gotta be friends wot the hell how can that be when we are total enemies I hate u u hate me thats they way its gonna be sorry mother I didnt mean to shoot the bullet in his arss but I hate him and he hates me and like I sed that how it has to be no love no care for that guy with the long hair but then I found out it was all a lie I hate him he loved me.
(c) Kate

Spot light

The spot light on me again so bright the light on me stop the sound the voice they repeat over and over telling me to move telling me to run as fast as I can away from this town but all I can do is sit in the corner and rock back and forth like a nodding dog not able to stop. The people move round me as if am invisible but am screaming so loud so so loud why wont they listen the sun is going down still I hear not sound. The voices from with in they carry on this thing but they will not stop.
(c) Kate



The Spot light on me but am so tired and so weak i am not a dancing monkey but a person with feet as i try to stand and try to listen i paint on this smile for the world to glisten if only they knew that the person was me so unhappy and loathed bothersonbe leave me alone i cry cant you see I dont want to do this no more let me be screaming am screaming someone please hear I am not prefomoring animal you see at the zoo I am a human being life i grow i have feeling and emotions pains that wont go if there is only one way you will hear me its is now today as i stand on top of this building whileing away people looking OMG LOOK UP THERE THAT WOMEN IS GOING TO JUMP DO I RECONISE HER its me you fools with out the painted smile the person who laughs and giggles for miles but the real me is here broken and smashed wanting only you to notice me and tell me its alright tell me that i belong here there is more to life than this but you didnt have the guts to show you didnt relise it was me so when the crowed let out a sigh I jump a mile high am flying now as free as can be like a bird with wind i am enjoying this I love it true please dont let this be it for me and for you.

My Art work ha :oP

Scray Spider

SO Yeah I was about to walk down the stairs when there is was lurking on the top step in the corner trying as always to get me unaware and it did..... So I called my Mummy to come and get it for me " Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum!" " What?" " Quick! Quick! Quick!" and with one hand she picked up the big spider as shown in my fablous drawing and took it outside....! Why do they always attack when you least expected like the other week I was walking down the stairs at night happy as can be when i got to to the bottem step and there is was bigger than my hand but no mother this time i was on my tod So i got Kims shoe ( my mums boyfriend) and placed it on top off the spider as so i couldnt see it and it couldnt move but then what i couldnt go back up the stairs incase it grab my leg and tried to take me away to some scary spider town to eat me........ So with one leap i leapt over the shoe ran upstairs in to my bed room and shut the door.... I survied this time but there is always next time.....!

Well Well I find my self back again.... Not alot has happend tbh Jamie Et Moi Went out On tuesday night in to town Where upon Mr Jamie Split a full pint all down my top and trouses making it look like I had weed my self it was all over my bum and from my front bottem down both legs haha...... We met a Guy Called Tony Who Jamie gave a token to go he got 30p of a pint and he was so greatfull because he had missed his train home so he came and talked to us and told us alot of rude and dirty jokes haha Jamie was drunk so didnt really remember much tomoz it was all good fun Then weds night we did naff all and today we went out for lunch good stuff Anyhow I am going bye bye..............

I was going to try and right a blog with out saying anything about Jamie as i talk about him way to much I am obsessed but I took this photo tonight he has just got out of bed he had a nap before he had to go to work and i thought it was quite good look of shock on his face and his hair :oP proper bed head :oP

Well i Got at home about 10:10pm tonight..... Well about a month ago all my hair ended up short just up above my shoulder but am pleased to annoce that it is growing back! YAY!! I might get my lovely long hair back! YAY! but am going to get it trimmed tomorow :o) I am going to see Andy on tuesday for a few hours will be nice He is getting married in June next year!!! well a month now till Sam is back and i cant wait I really can't I have missed him something rotten I have lots of news for him :o) anyways its 1:02 in the morning so bed times me thinks so bye bye.....

Well I dont think i have told you this little story yet but the other day in town Jamie and me where eating and a wasp came to my neck so i droped my food and legged it Jamie gave me a look as if he didnt expected any diffrent from me and all the people around were like OMG she is wired So i picked my food up and put it in the bin and casual walked of like nothing had happend hehe..... Am so cool its unreal hehe

Jamie Fell out with me last night and I walked out but I came back because as soon as i left i was shacking like mad because i was so upset i didnt want to loss him and he appolised to me and he sent me a message after he droped me of tonight telling me I mean the world to him *I mean the world to some one!* Its crazy it really is Its amazing that one person likes me so much am not use to it tbh but its great..... ♥ I know i ramble on about him in just about every blog but am not used to a guy loving me or thinking and worth alot its a great feeling ♣

anyways bye bye.....

Dumb Old Kate....

Well I slept at Jamie's last night and today we went shopping..... On the way home we stoped of at the pub and Jamie had a pint When we sat down I asked him if he honestly thinks that I am dumb I had been thinking about it while we were shopping... I know that I come out with some right dumb stuff but i mean what i come out with they are honest qustions but Jamie said he honestly doesnt think that I am dumb only somtimes ha... Oh well.... I think i have eaten somthing bad because I have been feeling sick latley Oh i dont know Hey.... How strange is the human body?....... Any ways am i supper tired so bye bye..

Add on to toilet blog

I forgot to add to the last blog while we were in town heading back to Jamie's Car we saw and old couple maybe in there 80's and i desided that they were Jamie and I when we grow old as the man wasnt touching his wife or making it look like they were togather he even ran infront just so he could get past the tree and didnt have to let her past they didnt really talk either it was like they were togather but they were'nt so to say but when we headed off I saw them talking haha but yeah I told Jamie he was unfectionante ( I cant spell) Oh well its all good ne ways that it bye.....

11:30pm Toilet blog...!

well Jamie Came round for tea and i must say he looked very nice witch is unusal he never puts that much effort in for me haha :oP But it was ok afterwords we went back to his and i stayed for 2 days :o) was good we went in to town on thursday I went looking for a DVD and could'nt find it so cried (not really but nearly i really wanted it) So i just ended up buying a hair brush because mine broke and some shampoo get in well excting... Jamie brought a Chair a dust pan and brush and a trowl he has this thing that everything he buys has to add up to an even number so if he buys stuff it either has to add up to 5 pound or 10 pound etc it's well funny I always take the mick outta him it is just so easy to be honest well he gives as good as he gets so its all good..... Well today I havent done much..... talked to Tom for a bit... Oh the other day I was taking this important phone call and Tom kept licking my arm and i couldnt tell him to stop or nething or move him and i had to try not to laugh silly cat anyways an offski bye.........

Haha Chav's..... Well today I have giving TommyKins a bath funny stuff he looked like a little drowned rat bless..... Well I went out for tea with Jamie last night and he is coming here tomorow night for tea....... Ooo and old friend from School recons that Jamie looks like a scally hehe a scally any ways not much else to report so byebye..........